This week felt amazing.
After all the planning, writing, designing and changing, the website is finally live. Seeing Haz. × LYLTY become a real, public platform was one of those moments where the work behind the scenes suddenly became visible.
The feedback has made that moment even better. People have tested the site across different devices and given me positive feedback on its compatibility and accessibility. I am looking forward to developing it into the central hub of Haz. It will be a place where the music, LYLTY, faith, journal and everything that follows can exist together.
Music also started moving again. I recorded three demos in just two hours, experimenting with fully written tracks, complete freestyles and a combination of both. None of them are official releases right now. They are ideas, experiments and part of me continuing to develop my own way of recording.
That process taught me something important. Sometimes writing gives me the structure I need, while freestyling captures an energy that can disappear when every word is planned. Combining the two may be where some of my strongest work comes from. I am learning to trust the first instinct without losing the detail that makes a finished record meaningful.
Recording those three demos, launching the website and still remaining competent at work made this a genuinely successful week. It proved that I can keep different responsibilities moving, even when the bigger vision is demanding more from me.
At the same time, I am still in what feels like a spiritual desert. I have felt distant from God, and that has been the hardest part of the week. Faith still entered my days through prayer before work, before meals, sometimes before bed, and through Sunday Mass. However, I know I need more than moments of routine.
I realised that I have been searching for a way out of the desert on my own, when what I need to do is turn to God and ask Him to lead me. I can keep pushing, planning and creating, but I cannot place myself above the purpose He has for me. Before deciding where I go next, I need to pray more and listen for what God wants me to do.
I also realised that I have genuine potential in music, but I am incredibly critical of myself. That criticism can help me improve, but it can also stop me from recognising progress when it is right in front of me. Three demos in two hours may not mean three finished songs, but it does show growth, instinct and a willingness to experiment.
I want everyone supporting me to understand that this is going to take time. I do not have a five figure budget. I do not even have a four figure budget ready to throw at every idea. I am trying everything in my power to create art that people genuinely want to see and hear. I want to create something unique, ambitious and capable of becoming revolutionary.
But I also know that I cannot complete that task without God. Progress cannot only mean doing more. Sometimes it has to mean stopping, praying and making sure I am still moving in the right direction.
I am carrying motivation into next week. I need to keep pushing forward, but before I do, I need to draw closer to God and ask where that movement should lead.